so...it's really more like "the first half is over at " these are reflections on lines...on moments i had during sunday's Do-It-Yourself Messiah.

"Comfort ye My people," saith the Lord. "cry unto her...that her iniquity is pardoned." president bush pardoned several people today. i will probably never know exactly what that feels like, but those 20 or so people do. they were guilty and punished and had no hope for anything other than that...and they were pardoned. their sin was accounted to them no more. i am overwhelmed when i think of who i am and what i do and don't deserve, and that i am pardoned.

"But who may abide the day of His coming, and who shall stand when He appeareth?" i've been really struck this christmas season by my self-perceived ability to stand. as i prepared to lead our church in christmas carols a couple of weeks ago, i spent some time praying and thinking through the lyrics of these songs. quite a bit more powerful than i ever remember noticing before. and one phrase in one song...my favorite song...kept hitting me hard. "fall on your knees...fall on your knees...fall on your knees." not for this presidential or kingly figure who came with all sorts of pomp and circumstance. THE King of Kings came in small and tiny human form...and that doesn't often cause me to think "fall on your knees, nate." but who shall stand when He appeareth? this is God. not simply a baby. not simply man. not even simply a king or president. this is God. i cannot, when i think about it, conceive a scenario where i, being confronted with the actual physical presence of God, would walk up and say "hey...how you doin?" and give Him the old guy handshake/hug combo. and yet, in His presence daily, often don't even give that much attention.

"Come unto Him, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and He shall give you rest. take His yoke upon you and learn of Him; for He is meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest for your soul." i needed badly to hear those words in my soul. i my labour is often hard on my soul, and their are things in life that cause me to be heavy laden. whether the news, the enormity of the distress in this world, family matters, whatever...i think i carry these too much. i'm not just concerned or caring or acting or working. i'm carrying. and i haven't got the strength to carry all these things. not even one of them, really. and meek and lowly of heart? i've got some resting in those to do.

"Behold, and see if there be any sorrow unto His sorrow." nope. i beheld. there was none. which reminded me that there is nothing i go through that i can hold up to God and say "why me?" i have suffered. i've even suffered on behalf of another person. but truthfully, if someone were to stand the world's population in a line from shortest to tallest on the suffering scale, i'd be pretty darn near the low end of the line. top 1 percent at least. i was reminded of what i've given up compared to what Jesus gave up. and i can't even really make the comparison because i have NO idea what life was like prior to entering humanity.

"How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things." i heard this differently than ever before in my life. i was struck by the "preach the gospel of peace" part of things and wondered if the hebrew word used there was shalom. it is. isaiah 52:7 and romans 10:15 are where you'll find these words, the latter referencing the former. "preach the gospel" was a common enough phrase as i grew up in the church. that meant that we should tell people that they were sinners, Jesus died for their sins, and made a way to reconnect God and mankind. nothing wrong with that...it's true and a significant part of the story of God. but "preach the gospel of shalom"...that's a pretty different thing. and it was very encouraging to me while it was sung...i actually folded down the corner of that page in my score because i wanted to reconnect with what i was thinking and feeling. the fullness of what adding "of shalom" to that phrase means will have to be for another post. it's not a small thing, and i can't capture it in this paragraph. suffice it to say, it was a profound moment for me on sunday to hear that.

"Why do the nations so furiously rage together, and why do the people imagine a vain thing?" good questions. the first one is easy enough to understand, albeit not so easy to answer. the second is simply the KJV language for pondering/mull/meditate/speak on/study worthless things. i ponder/mull/meditate/speak on/study worthless things. i know sports stats and car stats and beer stats and such, and those things aren't bad things, necessarily. but what will i hope to have gained at the end of my life for knowing all these things. or having things. etcetera...etcetera...etcetera. what will i wish i had pondered/mulled/meditated/spoken on/studied? there's some imbalance in my life here.

"The kingdom of this world is become the Kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ..." as someone trying to extricate himself from the kingdom of this world, and country, and many other things...and who is praying and working for His Kingdom, on earth, as it is in heaven, these words went pounding out before me like an army marching to battle. for while, as a follower of Jesus, i am called to preach the gospel of shalom, in the end, shalom is because the kingdom of this world is become the Kingdom of our Lord. i am a servant and soldier, and work for that, but, not unlike the scene in Two Towers (Lord of the Rings 2nd movie) when the evil forces think they're about to eradicate all those in Helm's Deep, they don't know the whole story. those fighting in Helm's Deep see things slipping away, and know if who they hope in doesn't actually turn out to do what he say, they're done for. but they do not hope in vain. their savior comes to restore peace...not just absence of war peace, but peace that sets things right...that restores...and reconciles. that line reminds me that although i do not know anything about how far the enemy will push forward its boundaries, those boundaries have already been set, and they labor in vain. i fight, but the kingdom has already become the Kingdom.

"I know that my Redeemer liveth..." i almost literally cried when the soprano started singing. all that is before is predicated on this one line. enough said.

"The trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." i can't wait for this day. there are some things i look forward to in life. i hope for them, but if they never happen i'll be just fine. (e.g. jumping out of an airplane, base jumping, flying solo, hitting 200 mph in a wheeled vehicle, sitting on the italian coast, getting married, raising kids, making a christmas album, and probably a few hundred more) but this...for this i'll trade all those other things. it doesn't matter to me whether or not i'm in the "dead" category or the "we" category. i just want to hear that trumpet. i believe it will be played on a silver Schilke trumpet with silly putty in the mouthpiece, btw. (inside family moment)

that's a lot of moments. and it's why this will be a tradition for me each year. i try to keep a hold on these things each day, but there are minutes and hours and days and weeks where i hardly even know they're true. on the positive side, that used to be months and years...getting a litte quicker. :-)