how to fool your friend into lending you his bmw...

I think I've been working too much. probably not...but it helps in explaining away this one. the actors in the play are:

1) Soraya, a friend about to get married. I'm playing guitar in her wedding.

2) Ryan...he owns the Beemer...a Z4 convertible. i've ridden in it a few times...pretty sweet.

3) Me...the imbecile.

So...about a month ago, Soraya messages a few of us asking if we can help find some people to do X, Y, and Z in her wedding. A guitar player is one of those needs. I say Yes. she's thrilled. i call her to find out what exactly I'll be playing. Some song...don't know it...don't own it...never heard of it. She is fortunate by not requesting The Chicken Dance, which i have sworn a blood oath to never be a part of in any one's wedding.

I ask Soraya to send me the song via email. After two weeks...no song. I call and ask, and she says she will put it on a CD and send it to me...the mp3 thing isn't working for some reason. I hear in this conversation something about the wedding in two weeks and having enough time to learn yon song. I hear this, but this is not said. I do not know it at the time. I find out yesterday.

I anxiously await the aforementioned CD. Then early this past week I message Soraya asking about wedding times/location, etc. I know it's in Lake Forest and it's tough to bike there. "I'll be needing transportation", I'm thinking, "and I should work this out a bit in advance." We mutually figure out that I should really see about finding a car to use. "No problem," say I. "I have a friend who told me if i ever needed a car in a situation like this, I could use it." Soraya says she is leaving in 30 minutes for the airport to fly to Chicago and finalize the prep for the wedding. In my mind, leaving Tuesday means a few days to nail stuff down, just in time for the wedding on the weekend.

I decide to see what public transit options I have in getting to Lake Forest. I can take the train...the Metra...but it's a little sketchy on the early Sunday morning availability I'll need to get to the wedding. In the end, a car is the only way I see this working. I have to call Ryan anyway to work out a time to move some furniture he's giving to a friend of mine. So we figure that all out, and then I ask about the car. I'm very clear that if it's any sort of problem, it's no worry. I can always buy a car from CarMax and return it within the first 7 days with no penalty. He's more than gracious and says that he and his girlfriend are taking her car to a wedding out of town this weekend anyway. It will be no trouble. This conversation goes down on Thursday.

Thursday...and I have no CD. I'm playing a song I've never heard, accompanying a singer I've never heard, and I have no CD. I figure I've always been good with learning music quickly so I'll wait. Friday will give me plenty of time.

Friday...and I have no CD. I ride my bike home from work in the rain for the 3rd time in a week, and wonder how an outdoor wedding will go if it rains too much. I run for the mail...and no CD. I'm a little freaked out at this point. I have a wedding in two days...a rehearsal in 18 hours, at least 7 of which I'm determined to sleep. I call Soraya. Voice mail. I note that the rain has increased. I am up until 1 am...and no call.

Let me say that I have personally perfected the art of procrastination. In fact, my name makes up the VERY LAST four letters of the word procrastinate. I believe I am predisposed toward procrastination because of this. Yet, even I am freaking out about Soraya's nonchalance regarding my need for the music I will be playing in her wedding. "It's her wedding," I think to myself. "If she wants me to have to play The Chicken Dance instead of what was surely a meaningful song, so be it. I'll not fret over this any longer." Not true.

I awaken Saturday and have no calls from Soraya, but do have one from Ryan. I call him and we arrange for the car dropoff. I leave one more message for Soraya saying I'm sure she's got a ton going on with figuring out what to do with an outdoor wedding and Ike's pouring on her parade. I'm sure there are a ton of logistical issues to deal with. But at a minimum, I need to know where the rehearsal is being held. I'm okay with not having the song. I once had to sing a song in front of several hundred people where I only sung this song once in my life and it was 5 years ago and they didn't have the lyrics for it and could I possibly remember it enough to sing it, and yes, it went off fine. I was sure that God would not let me ruin Soraya's wedding because she had been too busy to send me the CD.

I get a call from Soraya at 4:30 on Saturday afternoon. I am so relieved. I tell her I have a car to get to both the rehearsal and the wedding. She is thrilled. She says she is going to put the CD in the mail...it won't take long to get from Lake Forest to Chicago. And I begin to realize that a wire or three may be crossed. And then she laughs at my freaking outness and says "You know the wedding is on the 28th, right?" Ummmm...no. And she laughs more at me. "Yes...two weeks from this weekend." Ohhhhh...that 28th. Too late to slough it off as "Sure...I knew...I just wanted to be prepared." She has proof on her voice mail.

So...I now have a BMW for the rest of the weekend. "Oh...one thing", Ryan tells me when he hands me the keys. "It leaks at the corners of the roof when it rains. You can stuff paper up in there, but it will still drip." I stay in on Saturday night. Sunday, it's still raining...along the lines of that called for by the FOTF guy in Denver...so I drive the 4 blocks to church. I may possibly have been less wet had I walked sans umbrella.

I'll be spending the next two weeks befriending a Mercedes hardtop owner.